π₯ This is a tire fire π₯
Where operations goes to burn eternally
Tires are not prone to self-ignition as a tire must be heated to at least 400 Β°C (750 Β°F) for a period of several minutes prior to ignition. Unfortunately, your infrastructure has no such safety mechanisms.
AWS
Amazon's infinite money extraction service
Active Directory
Microsoft's gift that keeps on giving... pain
Airbnb
Disrupting the hotel industry, one broken deployment at a time
American Craft
Artisanal infrastructure, handcrafted disasters
Australia
Where everything is upside down, including the servers
BYOD
Bring Your Own Disasters
CafePress
Custom printed catastrophes
CFEngine
Configuration management that manages to break everything
Chef
Too many cooks in the infrastructure kitchen
Copyleft
Free as in "free to break your production"
CryOps
Operations so cold, they'll freeze your deployments
Cyber
Security theater at its finest
Debate
Arguing about the right way to be wrong
DevOps
You build it, you break it, you cry about it
DNS
It's always DNS. Always.
Docker
Containerizing your problems since 2013
Dumpster
Where good code goes to die
ELB
Elastic Load Balancer: elastically breaking under load
Equifax
Teaching the world about data security, one breach at a time
Move fast and break democracy
GIF or GIF
The eternal pronunciation debate
GNU
GNU's Not Unix, but it's definitely complicated
Hacker News
Where everyone's an expert on everything
IBM
International Business Mistakes
Incident Management
Managing incidents by creating more incidents
InfraKit
Some assembly required, instructions not included
jessfraz
Container goddess and infrastructure prophet
Logrotate
Rotating logs until they're dizzy
Mansplaining
Let me explain why you're wrong about everything
Microservices
Distributed monoliths with extra steps
Monitoring
Watching everything burn in real-time
Motivation
You can do it! (But you probably won't)
Nicolas Cage
Not the hero we deserved, but the one we got
Node.js
JavaScript everywhere! What could go wrong?
OpenJDK
Free Java, premium problems
Open Source
Free software, expensive support
OpenStack
Private cloud that's neither private nor cloudy
Ops
Where hope goes to die
Ops Roulette
Russian roulette, but with production deployments
Pair Programming
Two people, one keyboard, infinite suffering
Pete Cheslock
The operations legend himself
Playbook
Rules that nobody follows
Postmortems
Learning from mistakes by making new ones
President
Leadership by chaos
Puppet
Configuration management with strings attached
Quarantined
Isolated for everyone's safety
RVM
Ruby Version Manager: managing to break Ruby
S3
Simple Storage Service: simply not working
Serverless
No servers! (Just someone else's servers)
Simon and Czarfunkel
The sound of containers
SK8 or Die
Extreme operations
Sysadmin Day
One day of appreciation, 364 days of suffering
SystemD
Doing everything so you don't have to understand anything
Trump Days
Counting down to chaos
VMworld
Virtual machines, real problems
WebLogic
Logic not included
Well Actually
Technically correct, the best kind of wrong
Windows
Blue screens of death in the cloud
Year of Cheslock on the Desktop
This will definitely be the year
Zoom
You're on mute. No, still on mute.
